


All that kind of lovin'

by amerasu1013 (amerasu_1013)



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: F/M, Het, Humor, M/M, Moresomes, Multi, Other, Slash, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-30
Updated: 2010-07-30
Packaged: 2017-10-10 20:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/104172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amerasu_1013/pseuds/amerasu1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times they had an orgy on the Enterprise and 1 time the Enterprise joined in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All that kind of lovin'

**Author's Note:**

> This was first published at the st_xi_kink_meme over at delicious.com for this prompt:
> 
> "Sorry about the repost but I NEED THIS LIKE WHOA: 5 times they had an orgy on the Enterprise. 1 time the Enterprise decided to join in."
> 
> I cleaned it up a little before reposting it here. Betaed by the lovely infiniterider, whom I keep bombarding with stories. Sorry and thanks for your help!!!  
> All remaining mistakes are mine, especially since English is not my native language.
> 
> Also, disclaimer: I own nothing, all Star Trek belongs to people way more important than me. This is a work of fiction, no offense is intended.
> 
> Can also be found at my journal: http://amerasu1013.livejournal.com/2283.html
> 
> Rated Mature for a couple of swear words and some slash.

1\. The first time it was pollen.

Afterwards, they couldn't use the bridge for a week until all repairs were finished and maintenance got a raise and extra shore leave for removing all the stains. Also, the alpha bridge crew members couldn't quite meet each other's eyes for a while.

But Sulu and Chekov started dating.

 

2\. The second time it was spores.

It is said that when security finally managed to pry the mess hall's doors open, one third of the security officers threw up, one third just gaped and the rest joined in with great enthusiasm. They were welcomed with open arms, since, as Dr. McCoy put it while pouncing on Cupcake:

"Same ship, different day."

 

3\. The third time it was sex rays.

It lasted about twelve hours, included 47 crew members and changed places 5 hours in from conference room 3 to the bridge because there the view was nicer.

Afterwards, all men involved were reported to be glaring at the First Officer, who had gotten all the girls. All the women walked like cowboys for a while and Spock was definitely smirking.

A week later Uhura broke up with Spock because, as she said, she just couldn't deal with his appetite, or she'd never walk again.

 

4\. The fourth time... Ponn Farr, 'nuff said.

Spock simply couldn't be satisfied with only the alpha shift, or the beta shift, or sick bay's staff, or the various security teams he encountered. The First Officers... mood... was contagious and in the wake of Spock's path of epic banging all over the Enterprise, small instant "celebrations" sprang forth. They were mostly contained to whatever area he'd just left, but occasionally one or two still conscious crew members stumbled next door and proceeded to wobble through a second round. Or third, or seventh and so on.

The women of the Enterprise were left glaring this time, however, since not only did the Vulcan's lust seem to be contagious but so did his single-minded interest in men. This time at least. Well, girls know how to help themselves and in the following weeks mail orders for sex toys went through the roof.

Also Bones and Spock seemed to get on much better afterwards. The fact that they now have entire conversations _in their heads_ still creeps every one out, though.

 

5\. The fifth time, it was... weird.

The Molevan king seemed to be quite smitten by the Captain and decided to show his appreciation in making Kirk even more awesome. It is not entirely clear how or why, but when Kirk came back from Moleva he seemed... different.

Scotty was the first to notice, but soon Kirk was fleeing towards his quarters, trailed by a horde of frenzied crew members. He ripped his shirt, his pants and almost lost his boxers, but managed to escape to his rooms relatively unscathed. The lust-filled mob proceeded to try and claw their way inside and Scotty was seconds from disabling the override when the cavalry arrived. Under the combined powers of the murderous eyebrows and hypo-wielding fury that were Spock and McCoy the horde cowered and beat a hasty retreat.

The unfulfilled sexual frenzy unloaded itself in the corridors as crew members turned to each other and started to show their desperation quite loudly and intensely.

Kirk didn't seem to notice any of it, because the Doctor and the Commander were quite vocal in their disapproving of the Captain's man-whoring. This at least was suggested by those nearest Kirk's door who heard all the yelling and cursing and moaning and slapping and screaming inside.

Afterwards the Captain was confined to quarters for several days, and Spock and Bones were often seen entering or exiting, proclaiming to "look after the Captain" and "show him his place", all the while looking quite smug. Also, after the Captain finally came back on shift, no one _ever_ asked about the bruises around Kirk's wrists or why he suddenly seemed to have his nipples pierced.

Scotty got an interesting idea, though, and got himself an appointment. Uhura heartily approved after Scotty came back and everything "down there" had healed up nicely and was quite often heard talking about the pros of "jewelry on men".

 

And 1: The last time was... even more weird.

They encountered a strange ship without life signs, which sent messages even Uhura couldn't decipher and stuck a kind of shaft inside one of the Enterprise's docking stations before disappearing quite suddenly. Nothing bad seemed to have happened, so it was reported as "freak encounter" and forgotten. Some time later, though, strange things started to occur.

Scotty reported soft lights, panels warming and a cooing voice whispering to him after he had finished the latest bunch of repairs. Chapel and M'benga got stuck inside a turbo lift, and after three hours of desperate attempts to free them the doors suddenly opened just after M'benga had gathered all his resolve and asked Chapel on a date.

Seymor from botany got turned into a girl in the latest transporter "malfunction" after he had spit on the floor again during a soccer game in the rec room. Kirk's command chair developed a massage function. Spock wouldn't admit it, but Bones swore that during the time the Vulcan was turned into a child by the Serellian matriarch after he had commented on the illogicality of cutting their male children's ears off, soft music played and soothing lights played whenever the five-year old commander admitted to missing his mother.

Kirk dismissed worried questions and declared his ship was simply awesome as befitting such an awesome crew. His chair developed a little built in replicator with the sole purpose of producing hot drinks and took to purring whenever the Captain sat in it. Scotty got misty eyes and rambled about his special lady. Uhura didn't talk to him for a week, but sought reconciliation after her shower turned her hair blue. Bones started heavier drinking and Spock had no comment on the matter, also not on questions of whether he missed his mother.

Then it got even weirder. Floor panels started to warm whenever someone nearby kissed, lights dimmed when a couple gazed deeply into each other's eyes, walls started to vibrate when a pair retreated into their quarters. The bath rooms of single female crew members suddenly included an extendable shower head. Kirk's wardrobe seemed to rip his shirts. Whenever Scotty came near a maintenance panel, it seemed to undulate, in the engine room tubes and handles extended teasingly. Sulu's blow dryer left his hear dashingly wind-swept, Chekov's clothes unexplainably shrank several sizes. The temperature in Spock's and Bones' quarters increased and couldn’t be turned down again. Spock approved of the heat similar to Vulcan's climate and also that it caused Bones to walk around mostly naked.

 

And finally, on the second anniversary of the Enterprise's launch from shipyard, it happened. All over the ship ventilation grilles released pleasant smells, all doors opened, floors started to vibrate. Gentle music played, lights dimmed, the temperature rose, a light breeze shifted teasingly over exposed skin. On the bridge, people turned to each other as heightened platforms rose from the floor. In sickbay restraints slid caressingly over bodies on the biobeds. In the mess hall tables developed a soft cushy surface, the rec room suddenly sprouted manacles from ceiling and walls. In engineering an assortment of cables turned into a sex sling.

All crew members heartily approved, even Z'tika who had so far managed to stay celibate. The Enterprise didn't answer to hails for a week and seemed to record the increasingly urgent and worried messages from star fleet on a kind of answering machine. Admiral Pike was sent to investigate and managed to witness the last throws of festivities, scarring Chekov and Sulu for life, discovering quite some unexpected aspects about his former First Officer Spock's sexual tastes and was happy to give Kirk a hand when he found him restrained by his Captain's chair and left… hanging by what seemed to be an unfamiliar species of vacuum cleaner.

Afterwards the crew decided it had earned itself at least two weeks of shore leave, but the sought out starbase’s staff was nonplussed to discover no one of the crew actually left the ship. Uhura and Scotty broke up after she had been somehow flung out of engineering by the aforementioned sex swing. Uhura eloped with Z'tika, who had four arms and, rumour had it, a two-foot long tongue. Scotty started to spend even more time with the engines than before and was often spotted exiting engineering with a blissful smile and quite wobbly legs.

All in all, everyone was... satisfied.

Kirk correctly summed it up as awesome experience, and proudly told Pike it wasn't just the crew, but his ship also was simply "the best of the fleet". Pike smiled approvingly, wrote an official report full of rather obvious omissions and invited himself for the next anniversary of the Enterprise's launch.

 

The End...


End file.
